Friday, December 2, 2011

You know you're a "Mom" when... (infant edition) take an honest look at your wardrobe and think... "hmm... I need more yoga pants."
...after any given meal, you have more food in your hair than on the baby's face, bib and highchair table combined. wish you were pregnant again, just for the excuse to take a nap and to get out of house work.
...your kid's first Holiday Season is suddenly the most important thing in the world. I mean fuck world hunger!!! I need an ornament that holds pictures and one that says "baby's first christmas" and oh oh oh, so what if I don't sleep, I have to sew his first stocking and make his first wreath!" o_0
...the wet spot on your bed is actually just milk or juice or drool from a teething baby. can finally see your toes again. OH GAWD! YOU CAN FINALLY SEE YOUR TOES AGAIN!!!
...while basking in the joy of finally getting your baby to fall asleep, any movement from said child that may lead to him waking up makes you drop to the floor and send you via army crawl out the door. think about going back to school as a vacation. click on the family tab instead of the nightlife tab on the New Times upcoming event list then pour yourself a glass of wine, click on the nightlife tab and have a stroll down memory lane. think mothers should be given a Metal of honor for making it past the first three months. can simultaneously get ready for work, put your baby back to bed, do laundry and dishes, ice a cake and write a half assed blog at 6 am. (then later realize you forgot to brush your teeth and there's a good chance your thong is on backwards.) think about all the feats you have accomplished before... and realize that this is the most rewarding. know what true love really is.

No comments:

Post a Comment