Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Dealing with breaking the news.

"Mom, I've got something really important to tell you, but you gotta promise not to be mad." Seems like most unexpected pregnancy's announcements probably go the same way wether you're 27 or 17. Dropping a bomb like an unexpected, unplanned pregnancy on someone super important to you is not an easy task, but honestly, it's more for your comfort than it is "because you have to." Phatty and I weren't sure what we were going to do, but I needed to know if I had the support from my friends and family before we made a decision. So it was made, we were having a baby. Then came telling everyone else.

My bosses took it well, probably because days before my co-worker and friend, Laura, announced her pregnancy as well. We'd later find out we are just weeks apart.

But my friends, eh... that was a different story. My best friend was shocked, then elated. I'm sure she just didn't know how to re-act. I mean common, LIZ is having a freakin BABY! But then, as if magic, my other friends just kind of.. well, disappeared. From what I hear, a baby changes your whole life. Just no one tells you it starts as soon as you tell your loved ones. The ones that stuck around seem genuinely happy for me except for a handful... I would get random stares at my belly, strange personal questions, wandering heads and hands gravitating to my belly then, as if on cue, jealousy rears its ugly ugly head.

It usually comes from the ex's, both mine and Phatty's. But there were the baby hungry friends that all but outright said "Why do you have a baby and not me?" Well excuse the fuck outta me sweetheart! Then there are the douche bags that strive so hard at making failed relationships work with broken people who already have children just because they want an instant family. They will stop at nothing to try to put you down... So what do you do? Very Simple.

Dump em all.

That's right, separate yourself from all of them. The genuine ones will reach out to you, ask about the baby AND the significant other or offer help or send you an article they read that you might be interested in... blah blah blah. Don't allow anyone in your child's life that doesn't want to play an active role.

Then you have the friends that do love you, just have NO IDEA how to deal with your pregnancy or a baby. I'm that friend too, I don't DO kids. Well, at least I didn't... I guess I don't have much of a choice now. But anyway, I get it. You should too. It's not for everyone my dear, but I realized that I took on a different identity too. It's not their fault. It's almost like if I changed my sex and expected everyone to embrace it. I'm no longer crazy Liz in their eyes. I'm with child. I have taken on a whole new identity and not everyone is ready to take that on. And that's okay. Remember, your life will never be the same.

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